I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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