I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
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