Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
