I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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