ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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