I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
i believe in u and ur pee
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
