So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
