I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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