I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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