Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
