Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
do herpes really smell.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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