and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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