2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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