I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
