I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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