garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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