why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
