Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
