there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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