Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Randomize
