everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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