who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
