I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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