Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Randomize
