We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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