Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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