hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
