I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
