I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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