how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
