I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
