She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize