you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
