her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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