i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
