We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
