I think my vagina is haunted
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You need a sexual gate keeper
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
