definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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