he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
false alarm, still single
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
