dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
