he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
