He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
