ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
