I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Randomize
