Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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