it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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