i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
