Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
