Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
