I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
